was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
