"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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