You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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