My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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