Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize