Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
