I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're a waste of cheezeits
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
