girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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