Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
