Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm both gender and math confused
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
