You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
