We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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