I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
