can u get pink eye on your cock?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
