Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
