She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
