hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
