carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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