no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
