I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
