If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
