I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
