i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
