I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
