We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
