I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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