Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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