I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
