she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
