I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
