wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
