I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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