What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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