Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
