Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
