she smelled like a LAN party
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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