O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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