the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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