Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
