I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've blown a few things in my day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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