Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
