I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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