so that wasnt chicken after all
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
