Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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