ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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