I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
