I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
