im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
