Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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