That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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