a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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