I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
