if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize