Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
