you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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