I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
