I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
