If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
